I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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