Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
