Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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