She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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