when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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