My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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