I think my vagina is haunted
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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