im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
