youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
