my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
