all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
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Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
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I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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