standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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