id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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