Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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