i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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