I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car