I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
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Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
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My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great