it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I faked an abortion last night.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.