making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.