I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
