your thong is hanging out like whoa
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
