They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
