I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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