Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
