it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
