we have officially lost it.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
