I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
