I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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