Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
