I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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