Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
