Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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