i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
