Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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