were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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