This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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