Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
