I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We were destined to go to rehab together
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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