I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
