it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
