He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
