We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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