I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
