Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
