Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
