i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
