Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
