no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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