Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
