we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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