So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
