I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
