Having a random hookup so left but love u
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
