she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
