I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
