3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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