I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
