Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
