May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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