My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize