I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
