Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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