oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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