bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
