So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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