God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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