After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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