I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Randomize
